Michelle’s Story

Michelle's Story

Michelle, with husband Kevin and daughters, Ellie & Isla.

My name is Michelle and I wanted to share with you my family’s experience of the excellent care my husband Kevin, myself and our two daughters, Ellie and Isla, received last year.

My husband Kevin was a fit man, often training for marathons. He liked to raise monies for various charities, particularly for Crohn’s and Colitis, as Kevin had Crohn’s.

In early 2023, Kevin started experiencing pain in his side. He didn’t want to bother his GP, however his symptoms continued so he eventually went to see his Doctor and was diagnosed with suspected pneumonia in March. After further tests and scans, we were delivered the devastating news that Kevin had terminal cancer.

We decided to go on a family holiday to Egypt with our two daughters, Ellie and Isla. Unbeknown to us, this was to be our last family holiday all together. We hadn’t told our girls about Kevin’s diagnosis, we wanted to wait to see how Kevin’s treatment went. Kevin wasn’t his usual fun self, he got very tired easily, but tried his best to make sure we all enjoyed the time together. Shortly after returning from holiday, Kevin attended the Beatson to start his treatment. Unfortunately, due to his low oxygen levels and an infection, Kevin’s treatment was delayed.

At the end of July, Kevin’s health deteriorated and he was admitted to our local hospital. A lovely palliative care nurse spoke to Kevin and myself about him going to St Andrew’s Hospice for some pain management. Initially, I was frightened when I heard the “hospice” word but when I spoke to a close friend, she told me that St Andrew’s Hospice was a beautiful, calming place. Kevin was also worried about coming to the Hospice to die.

Kevin went into the Hospice at the beginning of August. When I saw his room, I felt a sense of relief and felt much better. His room was bright and had lovely patio doors which took you out into the courtyard. He had his own television – Kevin loved to watch quiz shows and the football. Our girls would go out into the garden, they said that the Hospice “smelled nice”, not like a hospital. We had our own space as a family. The staff were fantastic with us all – nothing was any bother. On the first night, I asked the nurses if it would be OK to bring in a Chinese meal – this was one of Kevin’s favourites – and they said of course we could.

Michelle's Story

Michelle & Kevin

The Hospice staff were very open about how ill Kevin was and the options we had regarding his treatment. Kevin’s body was shutting down but despite this, he remained positive. I asked the Doctor: “How do I tell our children?” – their reply was simply to tell them the truth. I sat down with our girls and told them that their Daddy was dying. The staff were great with our girls, they showed our youngest and her friend around the Hospice to put them at ease and take away the scary part.

We were moved to a three bedded room to give us more space as a family. I stayed overnight with Kevin along with my best friend. I just wanted to be close to Kevin, and didn’t want him left alone for any of this. Kevin’s family and friends visited as well as my family from Ireland. He had three close friends and when they were younger, they grew up together and although didn’t see each other regularly they remained close. Isla’s friend came to visit her at the Hospice and she showed him around. This was such a special time for all us, there was so much laughter. Sister Catherine would visit daily, she had such a calming presence and helped Kevin and all our family.

On 14 August 2023, Kevin died peacefully with me by his side, aged 45. Isla had picked some lavender from the Hospice garden and the Funeral Director took this lavender to put in Kevin’s coffin.

Our family cannot thank everyone at St Andrew’s Hospice enough for caring for us all. We set up a JustGiving page to raise funds for the Hospice. This year, we are taking part in the Midnight Walk in memory of Kevin and will be running a charity night close to his birthday in September.

St Andrew’s Hospice would like to offer you the opportunity to come together to celebrate the lives of those we now miss so dearly. Whether your loved one died recently or years ago – I hope this event will give you the chance to give thanks for a special life.